Sitting here watching American Idol. What happened to good old fashioned family and friends who told it like it was and did not, I repeat, did not let you go out and make a fool of yourself? If you couldn't sing, you knew it....if you didn't know it, someone made sure to tell you. LOL. Oh well it does provide some good entertainment though I have to wonder - how many know they suck but just want the moment of fame?
Anyways took my daughter to see crazy doctor ( as I call the therapist) today. She only goes once in a while to discuss her anger and abandonment issues since the divorce. Well they ended up having a grand conversation about how different I am now and how quiet and not like the mom she used to know. How I sometimes just get lifeless or zone. Which is very true. I have been very good at hiding what is going on with me at work and to other people and I try to do the same at home but I think the strain of holding up a false front all day every day causes it to crack around the edges once I am home though I try desperately to hold on to it until she goes to bed. So something to think about and work on. I have noticed that I am becoming socially inept though. I spend so much time alone and behind closed doors that while I used to be very capable of handling myself in just about any social situation, I now have a hard time even having a one on one conversation with someone. Hell I went to lunch with 2 girls from work who I usually get together with once or twice a month for lunch and I was like a zombie. Usually we get along good and it goes smooth but I just did not have it in me to even pretend that I was into what they were saying. I didn't care one way or the other, no anger or sadness just numb and it is spreading. I just I think the cracks inside are getting bigger. More things to consider.
Broke my diet today by taking DD and her best friend to Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream before the appointment. Mud Pie Mojo - YIKES!!! Coffee ice cream with oreos, peanut butter, fudge and whipped cream all mixed in...OMG. I have a new food group! Right up there with Merlot and Twizzlers and Starbucks. It was to die for - just oozing with fudgy peanut butter goodness with a hint of cafe au lait. Wow! Please sir, may I have another? But now I have to do an extra work out tomorrow morning - UGH! But I do believe it was worth it must stay away from that place except in my dreams. gives a new meaning to Sweet Dreams.
Peace, Love & Hairgrease,
~CC
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CC it sounds like you know what you need to do. Ask Tey's doctor for a referral for you. It does not indicate a weakness on your part, instead it shows a strength that you know you need to talk to someone and you are taking step to make yourself well. Isn't that what you are trying to teach Tey? To take care of herself in all aspects of her life? Since she is now noticing that you are not yourself it is time to get going and taking care of CC.
Love ya girl.
Adrianne
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