I know it has been a very long time since I blogged - bad CC!! But things have been very hectic and crazy and I just have not felt like it. Getting out of a funk and failure mode but now I am faced with the holidays, which I just do not really celebrate anymore but I try to do fun things for my daughters sake, even if they are not traditional or "the norm".
Tey and I are booked at the Disney Polynesian Resort for 6 days/5 nights over Xmas. This will be the second year in a row of us going there for the Holidays. So far I have tickets for Mickey's Very Mery Christmas Party the first night and the Polynesian Luau on Xmas day for dinner. I also have a character breakfast and afternoon tea at the Grand Floridian. It should be alot of fun. No clue why I am so excited all of a sudden but I am. I know that Tey is also looking forward to it and she does not know that we are staying at our favorite resort or that we are going to the Christmas Party at Magic Kingdom....SURPRISE! I can't wait to see her face.
I still hate Xmas time - ALOT - as that is the time of year that my marriage ended very suddenly going on 3 years ago. So I am glad that I am now able to find something to look forward to during a very depressing time of year...I do not do family gatherings or anything anymore and I still cannot stand to put up decorations or a tree or anything so this is how I get off the hook...since we are out of town anyways, Tey lets me get away with not decorating..LOL! We have a 2 ft tabel top tree with mini ornaments and lights that we bring with us along with stockings etc and Tey has a ball decorating our hotel room. I will share photos when we get back.
peace, love and hairgrease,
~CC
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Wise BBQ Chips
How come at a job the people who do all the work always get more dumped on thier plate with little appreciation and no extra money while the folks who don't do jack get the promotions and raises? Does it make any sense? Actually I guess it does because the people doing the dumping are the now managers who were yesterdya's total slackers. Going through crap at work that just pisses me off but hey I need my job so I can't quit yet and tell them all to plant a big, wet, juicy, sloppy one dead on the crack of my big ol ....uh hm you get the idea. LOL
But on a lighter note, Nikki is coming back down in 35 days - YAY (yes she was just here a couple of weeks ago for her Bday)...She is an absolute Disney freak...while Teyonna and I are Princesses so we are going to the Wine and Food Festival for the weekend at EPCOT. Should be a lot of fun. Trying to squeeze in afternoon tea at the Grand Floridian while we are out there. And of course we have to go to the Magic Kingdom and check out the new and improved Pirates of the Caribbean ride complete with Capt Jack Sparrow...woohoo! She told me to watch out because this will be Disney - Nikki style and I told her to watch out because it will be Disney -Princess Style. smile.
We were cracking up because she reminded me of our shared love of BBQ Wise potato chips and how when she was here we went grocery shopping and they were out of them! We both just stood there looking at the empty shelves and each other - totally at a lost for what to do. Teyonna was like "what's the big deal?" I am not sure who gasped louder, Nik or me...LOL Poor Tey she just does not understand yet the un-ignorable (a word? lol) food cravings of 2 pleasing plump, single, depressed, PMSing women..LOL
So I was like hey there is a 7-11 down the street, I will pull up front and you run in. Nikki was like deal! So we hurried up and checked out - since there was other food in the basket afterall and peeled out of the parking lot to travel the 1.5 miles to 7-11. Where Nikki came out empty handed! DAMN THEM!!!! For the love of God didn't anyone understand? LOL
So then I said well there is another grocery store a couple more miles down the road but parking is a nightmare so I will just idle out front. We all held on for a bumpy ride because by this point we both knew we would not be going home without those durn chips!!! Even if we had to drive to where the hell ever they make them and camp out. While I sat out front just hoping and praying that she would find them, time ticked by and I started to get anxious. So I whipped into a newly vacated spot, effectively cutting off some chick who was so NOT in a hurry ( total nother rant right there, why do people get on the road at 5:30 in the morning if they have no freakin place to go and drag thier asses? ) ok back to regularly scheduled program - LOL
I ran in the door and blessed be there was Nik and Teyonna in line with not 1 but 2 bags of those beautiful chips! Our eyes met and she held them up victoriously and we both almost did a touchdown dance right there in the store. LOL . It was a wonderful ride home, full of laughter and song, so unlike the tension filled desperate flight in search of Wise BBQ potato chip!
Just had to share that story because I am sure the security cameras in the first store caught our expressions and how still we were and they wondered what are those two up to? lol
peace, love & hairgrease,
~CC
But on a lighter note, Nikki is coming back down in 35 days - YAY (yes she was just here a couple of weeks ago for her Bday)...She is an absolute Disney freak...while Teyonna and I are Princesses so we are going to the Wine and Food Festival for the weekend at EPCOT. Should be a lot of fun. Trying to squeeze in afternoon tea at the Grand Floridian while we are out there. And of course we have to go to the Magic Kingdom and check out the new and improved Pirates of the Caribbean ride complete with Capt Jack Sparrow...woohoo! She told me to watch out because this will be Disney - Nikki style and I told her to watch out because it will be Disney -Princess Style. smile.
We were cracking up because she reminded me of our shared love of BBQ Wise potato chips and how when she was here we went grocery shopping and they were out of them! We both just stood there looking at the empty shelves and each other - totally at a lost for what to do. Teyonna was like "what's the big deal?" I am not sure who gasped louder, Nik or me...LOL Poor Tey she just does not understand yet the un-ignorable (a word? lol) food cravings of 2 pleasing plump, single, depressed, PMSing women..LOL
So I was like hey there is a 7-11 down the street, I will pull up front and you run in. Nikki was like deal! So we hurried up and checked out - since there was other food in the basket afterall and peeled out of the parking lot to travel the 1.5 miles to 7-11. Where Nikki came out empty handed! DAMN THEM!!!! For the love of God didn't anyone understand? LOL
So then I said well there is another grocery store a couple more miles down the road but parking is a nightmare so I will just idle out front. We all held on for a bumpy ride because by this point we both knew we would not be going home without those durn chips!!! Even if we had to drive to where the hell ever they make them and camp out. While I sat out front just hoping and praying that she would find them, time ticked by and I started to get anxious. So I whipped into a newly vacated spot, effectively cutting off some chick who was so NOT in a hurry ( total nother rant right there, why do people get on the road at 5:30 in the morning if they have no freakin place to go and drag thier asses? ) ok back to regularly scheduled program - LOL
I ran in the door and blessed be there was Nik and Teyonna in line with not 1 but 2 bags of those beautiful chips! Our eyes met and she held them up victoriously and we both almost did a touchdown dance right there in the store. LOL . It was a wonderful ride home, full of laughter and song, so unlike the tension filled desperate flight in search of Wise BBQ potato chip!
Just had to share that story because I am sure the security cameras in the first store caught our expressions and how still we were and they wondered what are those two up to? lol
peace, love & hairgrease,
~CC
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Friends
Ok kinda of hectic couple of days at work and I have been coming home and falling out. LOL.
My daughter is now all registered for soccer, she has her audition for the school news channel anchor position and she has decided to run for student council! What does all this mean? More work for me! But it's ok, I want her to be a well rounded young lady and as long as she maintains her perfect grades then it's all good.
Now to finally jump in with the blog challenges from The Red Lilly.....today's topic was:
Attached at the hip? Two Peas in a Pod? How did you meet your s.o./best friend? Tell us about that first time meeting them. Did you hit it off instantly or think they were stalking you?
I would have to talk about my closest friend Nikki. We actually met online...on a message board for cruising. She and another girl (let's see, I will call her Sha-Na-Na to protect her innocent children - lol) were going on their first cruise and I was going on my 3rd. It just so happened we were going to be on the same ship (one I had been on before) and they had tons of questions so we e-mailed back and forth the months leading up to the cruise. They lived in New Jersey and I was in Massachusetts at the time. We agreed that we would meet up the second night on board at one of the bars.
When I first met them, I actually did not take to Nikki right off. I mean I had nothing against her and did not dislike her or anything. I guess I felt I had more in common with Sha-Na-Na at the time as far as our lives were concerned. We didn't really hang out on the cruise though we ran into each other here and there. When we got back the three of us continued to e-mail and talk on the phone though once again I spoke more with Sha-Na-Na than with Nikki. I even went to Jersey a couple of times to hang out and helped with Sha-Na-Na baby shower. Over time, I got to see just how truly disturbed and unstable Sha-Na-Na was...ok the ho was straight crazy! Stalking, a tripping and just barely walking this side of the law most of the time and dragging her 2 boys into all kinds of mess and leaving them places while she went stalking her latest man.
And I started backing off from her but Nikki and her had been friends for awhile so they stayed friends and I was kinda on the fringes though Nikki and I started talking more and more. Finally there was a major blow up between me and Sha-Na-Na and I just left that whole situation alone....I can turn on the TV for a daily dose of drama, did not need it from her. Soon after she and Nikki also parted ways. Nikki and I kept in contact though it was more like we would talk once a month or so..of if things were hopping or we were real bored we talked more often. But we always stayed friends and everytime we spoke no matter if it has been 4 days or 4 weeks since our last conversation, we always picked it right back up as if the time had never passed.
Then I got married...I will spare us both the details and she was my travel agent for the whole wedding ( got married in the Bahamas) and she was one of my bride's maids. Then she got married a few years later and let me tell you everything conspired against me returning the favor. I was in a car accident that August ( she got married that November) which totaled my car and tore muscles in my shoulders, neck and back and herniated a disc. I was out of work for 2 months. I was a bride's maid and a month before the wedding I got pretty sick and ended up with an auto-immune disease that was attacking my skin. I ended up in the hospital the week before the wedding. I got out a couple of days before but my body was covered with gauze and padding due to the nasty sores and scars...and since the dress was this hot strapless number, I bowed out of being into he wedding and she totally understood. But it gets better....we drove to Orlando for the weekend since she was getting married at Disney. Teyonna had not been feeling great but I thought it was just a cold. Well the day of the wedding dawns bright and beautiful and low and behold, Tey is running a 104 fever and totally lethargic....had to rush her to the doc so I missed the wedding. Turns out Teyonna had scarlet fever! So then I had to call Nikki's mom at the reception to let her know since Tey had been around the other kids the day before. Nikki has never made me feel bad or guilty for missing her wedding. She has made a point of telling everyone that I did everything in my power to be there and went through a lot just to make it to the hotel. Gotta love her for that.
Well now I am divorced and she is filing for divorce and we are closer than ever and for the last 3 years or so we talk every single day, often several times a day. She has been down to Florida about 3 times a year to visit since my marriage ended and I just went up to Jersey for my bday this year...sounds unfair but let's face it...where would you rather spend your time? Trenton, NJ or Florida on the Gulf of Mexico? LOL so she is always ready to hop a plane down here. I am actually trying to get her to move here and she is trying to get transferred - watch out world! We are so much alike but so different that it works. Both very family oriented and do what needs to be done and put others before us but where I am a fireball, she is very calm. Where she is laid back I am a go getter. We support each other through the stupidest ideas - LOL and are always ready to ride or die - "He said/did what to you?? Let me take off my earrings and put on my ass kicking shoes."
It has been 10 years and my daughter calls her auntie Nikki and she is a part of my family - blood or no blood. I am closer to her than anyone and it proves that people get brought into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and you never know which it is going to be unless you have the patience to wait and find out. And Nikki has proved that my patience was well rewarded and I could not ask for a better confidante and partner in crime. I just hope that I can live up to the blessing of our friendship. Love ya girl!
ol' crazy Nikki on 70's night
peace, love and hairgrease,
~CC
My daughter is now all registered for soccer, she has her audition for the school news channel anchor position and she has decided to run for student council! What does all this mean? More work for me! But it's ok, I want her to be a well rounded young lady and as long as she maintains her perfect grades then it's all good.
Now to finally jump in with the blog challenges from The Red Lilly.....today's topic was:
Attached at the hip? Two Peas in a Pod? How did you meet your s.o./best friend? Tell us about that first time meeting them. Did you hit it off instantly or think they were stalking you?
I would have to talk about my closest friend Nikki. We actually met online...on a message board for cruising. She and another girl (let's see, I will call her Sha-Na-Na to protect her innocent children - lol) were going on their first cruise and I was going on my 3rd. It just so happened we were going to be on the same ship (one I had been on before) and they had tons of questions so we e-mailed back and forth the months leading up to the cruise. They lived in New Jersey and I was in Massachusetts at the time. We agreed that we would meet up the second night on board at one of the bars.
When I first met them, I actually did not take to Nikki right off. I mean I had nothing against her and did not dislike her or anything. I guess I felt I had more in common with Sha-Na-Na at the time as far as our lives were concerned. We didn't really hang out on the cruise though we ran into each other here and there. When we got back the three of us continued to e-mail and talk on the phone though once again I spoke more with Sha-Na-Na than with Nikki. I even went to Jersey a couple of times to hang out and helped with Sha-Na-Na baby shower. Over time, I got to see just how truly disturbed and unstable Sha-Na-Na was...ok the ho was straight crazy! Stalking, a tripping and just barely walking this side of the law most of the time and dragging her 2 boys into all kinds of mess and leaving them places while she went stalking her latest man.
And I started backing off from her but Nikki and her had been friends for awhile so they stayed friends and I was kinda on the fringes though Nikki and I started talking more and more. Finally there was a major blow up between me and Sha-Na-Na and I just left that whole situation alone....I can turn on the TV for a daily dose of drama, did not need it from her. Soon after she and Nikki also parted ways. Nikki and I kept in contact though it was more like we would talk once a month or so..of if things were hopping or we were real bored we talked more often. But we always stayed friends and everytime we spoke no matter if it has been 4 days or 4 weeks since our last conversation, we always picked it right back up as if the time had never passed.
Then I got married...I will spare us both the details and she was my travel agent for the whole wedding ( got married in the Bahamas) and she was one of my bride's maids. Then she got married a few years later and let me tell you everything conspired against me returning the favor. I was in a car accident that August ( she got married that November) which totaled my car and tore muscles in my shoulders, neck and back and herniated a disc. I was out of work for 2 months. I was a bride's maid and a month before the wedding I got pretty sick and ended up with an auto-immune disease that was attacking my skin. I ended up in the hospital the week before the wedding. I got out a couple of days before but my body was covered with gauze and padding due to the nasty sores and scars...and since the dress was this hot strapless number, I bowed out of being into he wedding and she totally understood. But it gets better....we drove to Orlando for the weekend since she was getting married at Disney. Teyonna had not been feeling great but I thought it was just a cold. Well the day of the wedding dawns bright and beautiful and low and behold, Tey is running a 104 fever and totally lethargic....had to rush her to the doc so I missed the wedding. Turns out Teyonna had scarlet fever! So then I had to call Nikki's mom at the reception to let her know since Tey had been around the other kids the day before. Nikki has never made me feel bad or guilty for missing her wedding. She has made a point of telling everyone that I did everything in my power to be there and went through a lot just to make it to the hotel. Gotta love her for that.
Well now I am divorced and she is filing for divorce and we are closer than ever and for the last 3 years or so we talk every single day, often several times a day. She has been down to Florida about 3 times a year to visit since my marriage ended and I just went up to Jersey for my bday this year...sounds unfair but let's face it...where would you rather spend your time? Trenton, NJ or Florida on the Gulf of Mexico? LOL so she is always ready to hop a plane down here. I am actually trying to get her to move here and she is trying to get transferred - watch out world! We are so much alike but so different that it works. Both very family oriented and do what needs to be done and put others before us but where I am a fireball, she is very calm. Where she is laid back I am a go getter. We support each other through the stupidest ideas - LOL and are always ready to ride or die - "He said/did what to you?? Let me take off my earrings and put on my ass kicking shoes."
It has been 10 years and my daughter calls her auntie Nikki and she is a part of my family - blood or no blood. I am closer to her than anyone and it proves that people get brought into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and you never know which it is going to be unless you have the patience to wait and find out. And Nikki has proved that my patience was well rewarded and I could not ask for a better confidante and partner in crime. I just hope that I can live up to the blessing of our friendship. Love ya girl!
ol' crazy Nikki on 70's night
peace, love and hairgrease,
~CC
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Lazy Sunday
Doing better today. Had a 4 hour phone conversation last night until 4am! LOL but it was nice to actually talk to another human being and not all superficial crap but just honest what is on your mind stuff. It reminded me of everything I have been avoiding in life - intimacy, closeness, kindness, compassion, concern and love. Not saying I am ready to run out and be around people but it was a nice change. Sometimes we need a reminder of what we have turned away from to make us refocus and put our lives back in perspective. I am going to try to make an effort to get out more and do and see the things I have been wanting to ...I do not need a husband or a boyfriend or whatever to live my life. Hopefully I can keep this newfound conviction but to keep it real..probably not.
But as a result of last night, I slept off and on all day and did not leave the house or do anything really productive. I would say it was nice for a change but aside from he sleeping part, this summed up most of my weekends when el kiddo does not have activities...just me sitting home waiting to go back to work. That, I do want to change. I live in a beautiful place with tons to do, I need to get out there and do it. I just sometimes get so tired of having to be strong and do what is necessary instead of what I want to do. I feel like I have been doing that all my life and I am sick of it. To take a line from The Color Purple - "All my life, I've had to fight..." LOL, sorry couldn't help it. Tyler Perry is one of my favorite people and he always uses that line in his movies and plays. Did I mention the HUGE crush I have on him...lol. Probably the one man right now who would make me rethink the whole - "I am never getting married again" edict.
Right now I am watching Ella Enchanted with my daughter and her best friend. Lord that is my life...I usually do not get to watch adult movies (and no I do not mean porno! LOL). It is a cute movie though and the girls really like it.
I did manage to cook dinner tonight since I felt I had to do something since I was lazy all day...skirt steak, mashed taters and sugar snap peas. Was good if I do say so myself. smile. I have promised myself to start my diet tomorrow and start back to working out at least 3 days a week to start. Keep your fingers crossed for me! LOL.
On a sad note - my sister's best friend ( they have been friends for like 34 years so she is more like family than anything else)...her daughter was shot yesterday in a drive by shooting in Boston. She was riding to drop her husband off at work so she could use the car to go pick up their baby at his aunt's house...they just got married August 5 of this year! Well shooting broke out on one block they were driving down and her husband pulled her down and threw his body over hers. The bullet came in through the door and went into her thigh. The hospital feels that they would cripple her for sure if they try to remove it. So they are going in on Tuesday to put in pins and try to reinforce the bone but there is no guarantee that she will walk again or that she will not be crippled anyways. She is only 29 years old and has a 1 year old daughter and a brand new husband and was supposed to complete her Master's Degree this December. So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
I am going to go finish watching the movie...I forgot to fill you in on the high school sweetheart but I will just keep you hanging until tomorrow..smile. Good night all!
peace, love & hairgrease,
~CC
But as a result of last night, I slept off and on all day and did not leave the house or do anything really productive. I would say it was nice for a change but aside from he sleeping part, this summed up most of my weekends when el kiddo does not have activities...just me sitting home waiting to go back to work. That, I do want to change. I live in a beautiful place with tons to do, I need to get out there and do it. I just sometimes get so tired of having to be strong and do what is necessary instead of what I want to do. I feel like I have been doing that all my life and I am sick of it. To take a line from The Color Purple - "All my life, I've had to fight..." LOL, sorry couldn't help it. Tyler Perry is one of my favorite people and he always uses that line in his movies and plays. Did I mention the HUGE crush I have on him...lol. Probably the one man right now who would make me rethink the whole - "I am never getting married again" edict.
Right now I am watching Ella Enchanted with my daughter and her best friend. Lord that is my life...I usually do not get to watch adult movies (and no I do not mean porno! LOL). It is a cute movie though and the girls really like it.
I did manage to cook dinner tonight since I felt I had to do something since I was lazy all day...skirt steak, mashed taters and sugar snap peas. Was good if I do say so myself. smile. I have promised myself to start my diet tomorrow and start back to working out at least 3 days a week to start. Keep your fingers crossed for me! LOL.
On a sad note - my sister's best friend ( they have been friends for like 34 years so she is more like family than anything else)...her daughter was shot yesterday in a drive by shooting in Boston. She was riding to drop her husband off at work so she could use the car to go pick up their baby at his aunt's house...they just got married August 5 of this year! Well shooting broke out on one block they were driving down and her husband pulled her down and threw his body over hers. The bullet came in through the door and went into her thigh. The hospital feels that they would cripple her for sure if they try to remove it. So they are going in on Tuesday to put in pins and try to reinforce the bone but there is no guarantee that she will walk again or that she will not be crippled anyways. She is only 29 years old and has a 1 year old daughter and a brand new husband and was supposed to complete her Master's Degree this December. So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
I am going to go finish watching the movie...I forgot to fill you in on the high school sweetheart but I will just keep you hanging until tomorrow..smile. Good night all!
peace, love & hairgrease,
~CC
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Pity Party Night
OK day 2.
Not even sure where to start. I am struggling with weight and self hate issues today for some reason. I know I seriously need to lose weight, not even sure when the hell I gained all this weight. But it is seriously out of control now and I need to take it in hand like I do my child. The whole self hate thing I know is tied to the divorce and family stuff. I have never felt good enough for my family. We have never been a lovey dovey supportive group...we are all over achievers to a point and it stemmed from one--upmanship more than anything else. We are not close...though I do have 2 sisters, 2 brothers and a half brother - my half brother is a whole nother entry that I am not prepared to address at this time. But I am the youngest of my other brothers and sisters by a lot - there is 21 years between me and the oldest and 13 years between me and the second youngest. So I did not grow up with them but I do have neices who are my age so it always made me feel like I did not fit in anywhere in my family and people did not know how to treat me since I fell between the cracks...not a one of my neices and nephews ( I have 12 nieces and nephews and 13 great nieces and nephews) call me aunt CC. My child calls all of my brothers and sisters aunt or uncle so and so. It is hard. I feel disrepected though logically I know I really shouldn't but it is still a hard place to be in.
I am still waiting for the pain of my divorce to fade. I am really hoping it starts to do so soon. I have gotten real good at pretending to be normal when around other people. But nights like tonight drive it home and make me realize how isolated I have become. My daughter is sleeping at a friends house and I am sitting home alone drinking and wandering the house. I am still young and should be out somewhere, on a date, with friends, something but I have become very anti-social....which is so not like me. Or at least not like the old me. I did not realize how much I defined myself by my marriage until it was over. But it is like I have become a different person, just avoiding life in order to avoid hurt. It is depressing and pisses me off but I have not found the motivation to change it.
ok enough of all that. LOL. Time to lighten up.
Question - why is it that once you have a child you no longer can count on going to the bathroom alone? Every single time I go to the bathroom it seems my daughter just comes in to ask me something or to see what I am doing or to chat. I am like - "EXCUSE ME?!?!?! Do you mind?" LOL. Maybe it is just me but I don't think so.
my daughter's best friend slept over last night and my daughter is sleeping there tonight ( it is like that just about every weekend). So sad that my 11 year old has waaaay more of a social life than I do. LOL! She want to be America's Next top Model. Here is her posing:
Too much for me!
I also need to Catch ya'll up on my high school boyfriend who moved to Tampa to be near me when he heard that my marriage was ending. He was always on of my closest friends and I made the mistake of thinking that we could finally make it work ( we used to be engaged) but he has turned out to be an even bigger disappointment than my X-husband, if that is possible....but I will get into that later. I am hungry and tied and cranky so I will end this now before I ruin your day - LOL!
peace, love & hairgrease
~CC
Not even sure where to start. I am struggling with weight and self hate issues today for some reason. I know I seriously need to lose weight, not even sure when the hell I gained all this weight. But it is seriously out of control now and I need to take it in hand like I do my child. The whole self hate thing I know is tied to the divorce and family stuff. I have never felt good enough for my family. We have never been a lovey dovey supportive group...we are all over achievers to a point and it stemmed from one--upmanship more than anything else. We are not close...though I do have 2 sisters, 2 brothers and a half brother - my half brother is a whole nother entry that I am not prepared to address at this time. But I am the youngest of my other brothers and sisters by a lot - there is 21 years between me and the oldest and 13 years between me and the second youngest. So I did not grow up with them but I do have neices who are my age so it always made me feel like I did not fit in anywhere in my family and people did not know how to treat me since I fell between the cracks...not a one of my neices and nephews ( I have 12 nieces and nephews and 13 great nieces and nephews) call me aunt CC. My child calls all of my brothers and sisters aunt or uncle so and so. It is hard. I feel disrepected though logically I know I really shouldn't but it is still a hard place to be in.
I am still waiting for the pain of my divorce to fade. I am really hoping it starts to do so soon. I have gotten real good at pretending to be normal when around other people. But nights like tonight drive it home and make me realize how isolated I have become. My daughter is sleeping at a friends house and I am sitting home alone drinking and wandering the house. I am still young and should be out somewhere, on a date, with friends, something but I have become very anti-social....which is so not like me. Or at least not like the old me. I did not realize how much I defined myself by my marriage until it was over. But it is like I have become a different person, just avoiding life in order to avoid hurt. It is depressing and pisses me off but I have not found the motivation to change it.
ok enough of all that. LOL. Time to lighten up.
Question - why is it that once you have a child you no longer can count on going to the bathroom alone? Every single time I go to the bathroom it seems my daughter just comes in to ask me something or to see what I am doing or to chat. I am like - "EXCUSE ME?!?!?! Do you mind?" LOL. Maybe it is just me but I don't think so.
my daughter's best friend slept over last night and my daughter is sleeping there tonight ( it is like that just about every weekend). So sad that my 11 year old has waaaay more of a social life than I do. LOL! She want to be America's Next top Model. Here is her posing:
Too much for me!
I also need to Catch ya'll up on my high school boyfriend who moved to Tampa to be near me when he heard that my marriage was ending. He was always on of my closest friends and I made the mistake of thinking that we could finally make it work ( we used to be engaged) but he has turned out to be an even bigger disappointment than my X-husband, if that is possible....but I will get into that later. I am hungry and tied and cranky so I will end this now before I ruin your day - LOL!
peace, love & hairgrease
~CC
Friday, September 01, 2006
An Intro
My blog day 1.
After much thought, I finally decided to try to start a blog, so bear with me while I get the hang of this and get it looking all fancy smancy and pretty like.
I am a divorced mother of a beautiful 11 year old daughter. My X-husband does not have anything to do with either of us by his choice and that has probably been the hardest part of being faced with a very sudden and unexpected divorce - my daughter's hurt and abandonment through no fault of her own but more on that later.
I am originally from Massachusetts but now make my home in Florida and love it! No snow! Woohooo! I have not been home in over a year and I know that is not sitting well with my family right now and they are really pist but I have to do what I have to do for me and mine, in order to get to a better place and stabilize our lives so they will just have to understand...and if they don't then too damn bad, I have lived most of my life for what other people want and need and right now I have to do the same for me and my daughter. Whew, ok that mini-rant is now over. LOL
I work as an engineer but I am far too creative for that job....LOL..gets me in trouble everytime. I started out as a business major in college but accounting kicked my behind and I was doing bad in school, so I had to pick a new major. Which I was bummed about because I just knew I was going to be a marketing genius but there was just no way I could pass accounting and I was not up for the challenge back then. So the guy I was crazy over at the time ( though we were just friends) was an electrical engineering major. I figured well hell I can do that and get to spend more time with him - cool! Long story short, sometimes when you can't motivate yourself in the right direction, fate steps in and steers you where you need to be, by any means necessary. In my case it took a tall, dark, handsome frat boy to get me where I needed to be. I ended up Dean's list my first semester in the program and did not look back. LOL
But in my spare time I paint, draw, scrapbook, read, dance, sew, cook..all very unengineering like pursuits. LOL. Very unlike most of my co-workers thus I don't really deal with too many people outside of work. But it gives me time to focus on my daughter and she is a blog entry all in herself so maybe I will make that my next subject - my beautiful, smart, wacky, caring, silly child. I swear she keeps me going. I would have given up a long time ago if it was not for her. She has saved both my life and my sanity more than once and the least I can do in repayment is raise her in a safe, loving, supportive home.
Ok I am getting too mushy so it is time to sign out for now. I am looking forward to giving a peek into me and my world. I didn't think I would be comfortable with this but I feel that it will be ok.
peace, love & hairgrease
~CC
After much thought, I finally decided to try to start a blog, so bear with me while I get the hang of this and get it looking all fancy smancy and pretty like.
I am a divorced mother of a beautiful 11 year old daughter. My X-husband does not have anything to do with either of us by his choice and that has probably been the hardest part of being faced with a very sudden and unexpected divorce - my daughter's hurt and abandonment through no fault of her own but more on that later.
I am originally from Massachusetts but now make my home in Florida and love it! No snow! Woohooo! I have not been home in over a year and I know that is not sitting well with my family right now and they are really pist but I have to do what I have to do for me and mine, in order to get to a better place and stabilize our lives so they will just have to understand...and if they don't then too damn bad, I have lived most of my life for what other people want and need and right now I have to do the same for me and my daughter. Whew, ok that mini-rant is now over. LOL
I work as an engineer but I am far too creative for that job....LOL..gets me in trouble everytime. I started out as a business major in college but accounting kicked my behind and I was doing bad in school, so I had to pick a new major. Which I was bummed about because I just knew I was going to be a marketing genius but there was just no way I could pass accounting and I was not up for the challenge back then. So the guy I was crazy over at the time ( though we were just friends) was an electrical engineering major. I figured well hell I can do that and get to spend more time with him - cool! Long story short, sometimes when you can't motivate yourself in the right direction, fate steps in and steers you where you need to be, by any means necessary. In my case it took a tall, dark, handsome frat boy to get me where I needed to be. I ended up Dean's list my first semester in the program and did not look back. LOL
But in my spare time I paint, draw, scrapbook, read, dance, sew, cook..all very unengineering like pursuits. LOL. Very unlike most of my co-workers thus I don't really deal with too many people outside of work. But it gives me time to focus on my daughter and she is a blog entry all in herself so maybe I will make that my next subject - my beautiful, smart, wacky, caring, silly child. I swear she keeps me going. I would have given up a long time ago if it was not for her. She has saved both my life and my sanity more than once and the least I can do in repayment is raise her in a safe, loving, supportive home.
Ok I am getting too mushy so it is time to sign out for now. I am looking forward to giving a peek into me and my world. I didn't think I would be comfortable with this but I feel that it will be ok.
peace, love & hairgrease
~CC
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